Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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