I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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