bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
