a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
