The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
