I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
