She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
