your room smells of hookers.
And success
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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