That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
