I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize