So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
