Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't deserve a penis
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
