You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
