if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
