Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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