i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You ate ashes out of my bong
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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