so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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