Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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