You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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