I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
