I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
