she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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