If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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