i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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