office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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