Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize