Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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