I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry about my life...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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