Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize