she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
