i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
