everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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