She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
