YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
