put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
