She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
