covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
