i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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