Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
