Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
