Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
