So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
ok first of all what the fuck
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
