Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
