These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
