love makes seman taste better
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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