literally had 100 drinks last night.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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