I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
