Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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