we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize