Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Alive.
So much puke
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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