I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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