You made me cry and you don't even care
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
