I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
