Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize