no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
