i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize