im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
