I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
