Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just google imaged poop.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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