I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
