i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
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